Wednesday, November 5, 2014

That Time We Almost Could Have Died

As promised, I'm back with a recap of this past weekend. Yes, I know it's Wednesday. So I'm a little past-due on a "weekend update" post... but it's Georgia/Florida weekend. It's never too late to reminisce. 

I've mentioned the wonders of this weekend probably way too many times on here. But it's honestly better than Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years combined. No lie. And this year was no exception. 

Per usual, it consisted of the usual chaos on Friday and the game on Saturday. Unlike the past four years, the Dawgs decided to let me down and completely suck against Florida. 

But. You win some, you lose some I guess. We've never lost a party, though. I can promise you that. Here's the proof:

But now to explain the title of this post. Another thing that wasn't so normal about this weekend: my living situation. It was... something else. 

So on Wednesday, the night before we were to depart, Natalie informed me that the girls that booked the condo we were staying in were a little bit worried that it may be sketchy. For some reason, I was very calm about the whole thing and decided everything would be fine. 

Fast forward to 6pm Thursday. We are 3 hours into our drive to St. Simons when the other car of ladies arrive at our destination. And it's the creepiest place on planet Earth. This fellow named Allen had listed this "condo" on a booking site as a "3rd floor suite." 

It's an attic. 
With no lock on the door. 
And no air conditioning.
In his home. 
With one bathroom: his. 
And he was a hoarder. 

Oh. And it's in the middle of nowhere on a "lagoon." It's probably filled with bodies. But that's not confirmed. He was also selling alcohol out of his garage? I'm not even sure. 

But needless to say, the girls hightailed it out of there, called the rental website, told them what happened, and they told us to find somewhere else to stay and they would compensate us for it. 

Only one huge problem: the whole island is booked. Except for the Manager's Suite at a condo complex on the beach. And they gave it to us. It was the greatest upgrade of circumstances in the history of the world. I've never been so happy to share a one-bedroom house with 12 girls. It definitely had a better outcome than whatever would have happened staying in the creepiest house of all time. 

So God Bless the Ocean Inn and Suites in St. Simons for saving our lives this weekend. 
Me love you long time!

xoxo, jgp


  1. I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.


  2. OMG that is way creepy, I am so glad they were able to let you stay somewhere else! Sorry about the Georgia loss :(